Sex addiction help. It is not easy to realize you need help until you are in way over your head. It’s not easy to find anonymous help when you are willing to ask for help. It is also one of the hardest addictions to ask for help when we need it. It becomes obvious to others very close to us sometimes before it is even obvious to us. Sex addiction seems to hurt others before we realize it is hurting anyone else in our lives. It can create wounds of the heart that seem almost impossible to heal. Without sex addiction help, we are left utterly defenseless against a condition that has all the destructive power that any other addiction carries with it and more. Sex addiction leaves us feeling utterly defeated, enslaved and powerless. It hurts us to our very core because it makes us feel we have sunk to a depth of depravity that nobody else is willing to admit they have been there themselves. We cannot seem to find someone to confide in that shares our pain.
We are trapped in a prison with invisible walls. Alone and scared to death. Crippled and hopeless. We find ourselves in deep despair that we do not know how to climb out of. We dare not tell anyone. If we go to a doctor or therapist we might get labeled. Even though the level of depression warrants being treated professionally. If we tell our best friend, they may let it slip by mistake. If we tell the Minister, how do we know it will stay private? And how will people see us? Will we be seen as a pervert or a reprobate? Will we be trusted? Even the so called anonymous groups have their limit before you are hot lined. The church that is supposed to love unconditionally, seems to have their limits as well. Secretly judged. Sometimes not even in secret. Remember, they are only human. All we can do is give them the same love and forgiveness we long for. Maybe they will grow.
So where do we go? Who can we turn to? If anyone ever needed a God that would be a friend and confidant. A God that would be patient and kind and comforting it is us. Yes, I include myself here because I suffer with these issues myself. Please be open minded here and let me reason this out before you. I will attempt to make a case for God. Only not the God that is the one we don’t want. That one is the lie that has been presented by those who want to rob us of the love, help and true friend that we need. Why? Because they were robbed as well. They mean no harm most of the time. They just do not know the truth. I believe most people are fundamentally good. Many of them have grown up knowing a version of God that is full of hatred and condemnation. Unjust judgement and punishment. Those are the lies that some would try to have you believe. Or that God is nonexistent. A fable. Maybe a widely embraced superstition. If that’s what they need to believe, then so be it. God doesn’t force us to believe.
But people like you and I, “We could really use a friend to love us”. Someone who doesn’t do mean things to us when He doesn’t approve of our mistakes. A God that won’t tell our deepest darkest secrets. Even the most messed up, deranged, perverted. A God that doesn’t scream at us when disappointed or walks out on us and gives up on us when we blow it one more time. The God I believe in lets me start over and over and over, because I can be a real idiot. There is a reason I adopted the nickname, “Sinner”. My way of saying, I’m very far from perfect but My God’s Grace and forgiveness is why I love Him so much. A screw-up like me needs that kind of God. I am in good company though. The Bible is full of a long list of super sinners that went on to do great things with God. This gives me hope.
This book called the Bible can be so overwhelming when you look at it. But it has a mysterious power. Usually it is very easy for us to handle a book with carefree thoughtless effort. Doesn’t faze us one bit. However, when we see a Bible in a motel or our Bible from childhood, grandma’s old bible at her house or this huge bible at a church service, funeral home or a wedding; it invokes a different response or emotion if only for a split second. I call it the shoulder tap from Father God saying, “Son or Daughter”, I still love you”. “Come home”. This is the God I love.
This book, so difficult to make ourselves read in a time when we get the news or information from the web. Why should we blow the dust off Grandmas bible and read it. Because it is a treasure chest. A gold mine. A first aid kit. I call mine my sword. I use it to fight my demons. Yes, they still chase me. They will till death do I part because they know people like me and like you can be very dangerous to their cause. They destroy lives, marriages, families and even countries. My experience is this: The biggest sinners, (willing to share their experience, faith, strength and hope) is most effective in the trenches of a spiritual war that has raged forever. We win souls for Christ! Want proof? Just read some of the things Grandma underlined in her bible. I have been known to look for bibles that have been written in, marked up and donated to Goodwill or the Salvation Army just to give away so that sword can stay in battle. Why? I love the One who forgives me time after time and fights alongside me and goes before me.
Super Screw Ups just to name a few. King David, not only committed adultery but had Bathsheba’s husband Uriah sent to the front of the raging war and abandoned so he would die. He married her. God forgave him. The Apostle Paul, when he was known as (Saul) responsible for many, many Christian dying horrible deaths. Matthew, (first book in the New Testament) was a tax collector, (very treacherous to deal with in those days) became a follower of Christ Jesus. Jesus didn’t sin but he loved to hang out with those who did. The clergy of the day hated Him because He hung out with the partiers and rougher crowd. Poor people? Loved them! Ethnic? Loved them! Crippled? Loved and healed them. Sex issues? Yes, He forgave them. See? He gets us. We are far from perfect. We need him. And He will love us even yet while we are sinners, “He Loves Us”.
So you have found a place to go. You can always go to Jesus. He gets your language. Even if every other word is a “Whatever Bomb”. Ghetto, Gang, Hooker, Pimp, Prison, Any Country, Anytime. Sex issues? Yes, He wants you. You can talk to Him about it all. Take time to listen with your heart. Open up for real love. Not just sex. Consider me your first friend. A kindred spirit. I know how you have suffered because I have suffered in your shoes. A virtual hug to you. Cry on Gods shoulder as I do. Be strong but to be even stronger remember one of my favorite verses in the Bible, “My strength is made perfect in your weakness”. He is waiting for you to tag Him to come in the ring and fight for you. May God bless you and protect you. I pray for you to find peace.
Robert Newberry, (Sinner)